Hope From Your Mama!

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When Mama CHOOSES to vaccinate

April 25, 2021

My Noah started having seizures 8 days after his MMR vaccine and the (MANY) others he got at his one year appointment. He was only 1 year old and no one took into account that maybe we should go a little slower on his vaccination plan...because of his chromosome issues. 😟 I went slower with my first child’s vaccine regimen. Actually; that is how I remember 9/11... I was just waking up to take my Holly to get vaccinated. But I digress... I ALWAYS got the “attitude” or the “lecture” when I would tell the nurses that was what I was doing. 🙄 But she did perfectly fine with her vaccinations!! (She’s a normal/ healthy kid.) The doctor at my Noah’s one year appointment was a different one. Our “regular” Doctor Goedderz (best doc EVER), was serving in the Iraq war.... This guy was new to Noah’s well check ups. He was actually the guy who performed Noah’s c-section... though I don’t believe he remembered that. 🙄 The doctor didn’t even UNDERSTAND that Noah had a chromosome anomal

When Mama embraces the 🌝 Moon

March 28, 2021

My “alter”. Interestingly enough, my prayers are that it altar me! (See what I did there?) 😉 It’s Sunday today. Church day as I recall?? It’s been so long I can’t remember. I like that feeling. It’s 75 and sunny today. I like that feeling too. It’s snowing in the state across the country that I used to live in... “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” But I digress. I thought I would share a bit of my spirit with you today. It’s hard for me to bear my soul to people because it has been rejected so very many times... But continue to do it I MUST. “Why does the man climb the mountain?” “Because it’s there!!!” Interestingly enough... I remember daydreaming back in 7th grade science class. I did that all the time. I just had a really hard time paying attention and grasping concepts. They have special drugs for that now I hear. I didn’t even smoke pot back then soooo... The science teacher called on me to answer a question. I wasn’t fully paying attention to the question. I f

Mama and her Brudder

March 17, 2021

My Brother, My Guru, My Friend James Jay Jankowski The weekend I took he and his family to The Best Western Hotel ~Easter Circa 1985 It’s the One Year Anniversary of my brother’s death. I think it’s only been a year. I had a ton of deaths lately. It’s all a blur!! That explains A LOT about my day!!! 🤪🤪🤪 *OKAY... I am editing this! It was TWO years ago!!!!!* I didn’t realize it today though. Although I knew there was something heavily weighing on me all day long. I realized it an hour and a half after the day had ended. Have you ever lost a brother before?? Well, I hadn’t. It really, really REALLY FUCKING SUCKS! March 16, 2019 he passed away from cancer after one of the most badass fights against it I have ever witnessed in my life! 3:16 That is how I will always remember his death. It’s always been my number! It is the number I would see when I was afraid I was offending God and S/He would let me know they really Love me!!! At least that’s how I took it. 😉 I always loo

When Mama reaches out...

March 04, 2021

I am always the “reacher outer” in all of my relationships. It’s just who I am I guess. My best friend as a kid, I would ALWAYS be the planner! She would just tag along and we’d be singing our songs, talking for hours on end and playing the day away and having a blast! I THINK I was usually the one who called first or invited first and usually came up with things to do. I loved her! I adored her! She was my best friend in the whole world!!! Next to my dog Cuddles that is!!! 😉 “Cuddles you should know better!!!” Sorry... this is a joke only a couple people will understand! People like...“Bubbles”. When I met my best friend’s boyfriend for the first time he was actually JEALOUS of us!!! He actually thought I was moving in on his girlfriend!! 🤣 Okay... please keep in mind this was way back in like 1986, so that wasn’t even a thing in my day!!! I mean... I’m SURE it was... but people didn’t talk about it, because we were ALL made to think that would have been a bad thing. Bein

When My Momma reminds this Mama about... Love!

March 01, 2021

~My Momma and My Babies~ So here is a little tale for your Monday… My Momma had two babies, at two different times, that died at birth. Think this woman might have seen a thing or two!?? Yikes. I remember that the name of the baby in this story was either John Joseph... or Kenny. I don’t remember which baby this story was about. I always knew those were my two brothers in heaven. They were born before me. I think my parents finally quit having kids once they perfected it with me! 🥰 But I digress. I knew that this was the story of the time that she lost so much blood, she almost died. I remember asking her what that was like. (Being dead) I was probably about 10 years old when my mother told me this story. When she told me this story, she was still a Catholic but not really a practicing Catholic. It doesn’t really matter, except for the fact that I know we were not evangelicals at this time. We had no religion, which is where I feel I am at today. She got snubbed in our little t

Mama says Grandpa Joe is AOK!

January 23, 2021

I honestly don’t mind discussion of politics or religion. I actually LOVE real discussion about real things with *real* people with no hidden agendas... But, there is also the fact that I have a very, very hard time trusting people in my older age. But here’s the thing... it seems it usually cannot be an HONEST and agenda free, open discussion when we are talking about these subjects. It usually has to be an argument that divides. Oh don’t get me wrong… I am definitely not innocent of this sin. If you look at the meme that I’ve used as my picture at the top… There is actually an entire controversy on this picture alone. It’s all really pretty stupid the things we busy ourselves with when we should be busy loving and doing onto others… again… Guilty as charged. I just like the picture because it sort of states my feelings about the guy. Which, as you know, are subject to change at any point in time. We get to do that as humans! I’m not sure if you knew that??? It’s really pretty c

Mama says, “SIX MILLION dollars for WHAT??”

November 13, 2020

Woodlands Church, Stevens Point, WI Religion/ Denomination Evangelical “Free” Most of you know this blog was started over 10 years ago when I was still part of a mega-church. It's interesting to look back on my blogs and see some of the brainwashing that took place. It keeps me humble and it causes me to be wary of any thing, place or person trying to control my heart and mind. Most of you also know I was asked to "step down" from a leadership role at said church because I was "naughty"... Reading “naughty” books... LOVE WINS Questioning whether or not Jesus would accept Gays. Gasp!! I also lashed out (privately) at one of the Pastor's wives who thought she could bully me into not sharing my beliefs. I guess I learned MY lesson! 😆 I recently wrote a blog talking about one of my experiences at this very church. Imagine my surprise when my blog had an anonymous comment left on it by someone, who probably is still a part of this huge enterprise. Didn&

Mama says you’re included, but you might not be a friend...

November 09, 2020

~I’ve lost friends for various reasons throughout my life. One time in the 7th grade, one of my best friends ended our friendship because... “She heard I tried smoking!!” 😮😮 Yep. Our relationship was never the same again because I tried a ciggie! Even though I apologized and begged her to take me back and promised her I would never try it again!! Nope! No deal! I guess I just counted myself lucky that she didn’t tell my Mom on me as well! Momma would say to me, “Don’t ever smoke!” With a cigarette hanging out of her mouth! 🤣 My Momma also said, “Do as I say, not as I do!” But it worked! I don’t smoke cigarettes. 😉 I use that line on my daughter to this day! ~I also lost a lot of friends when I drifted away from the Christian religion/ “cult” I was in. Especially when I had the audacity to talk about that journey in my blogs or on Facebook!! “We don’t talk about injustice and the bad things in the church Christeen!! That will hurt the work of “Jesus”! Funny... I

Mama says, Do Your Yoga!

August 24, 2020

Warning!! If you are a complete type A personality, a fitness junkie or a complete healthy food eater... this blog is NOT for you! This blog is for people like me who have ALWAYS struggled with weight gain and body image and bad eating habits and wishes someone would have turned me on to Yoga in My 20’s ~~~ Puberty was crazy. Having my period sucked. Having children was fricken hard!!! But no one really warned me about the worst one... peri menopause!! I have been having multiple issues with pain and with my mood stability the last year and a half. One night I looked up peri menopause, and all of these issues fit! I won’t bore you with all the gory details. I am getting help from my doctor. Thank the Goddess for Estrogen and Legal marijuana! But one thing I am learning is that my body, as completely imperfect as it may be... has served me well for many many years! I need to love her and treat her well! So that is why I share with you, the best thing I have found to treat my body w

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