Mama says you’re included, but you might not be a friend...

 

~I’ve lost friends for various reasons throughout my life. 

One time in the 7th grade, one of my best friends ended our friendship because... 

“She heard I tried smoking!!”  😮😮

Yep. Our relationship was never the same again because I tried a ciggie! Even though I apologized and begged her to take me back and promised her I would never try it again!! 

Nope! No deal!

I guess I just counted myself lucky that she didn’t tell my Mom on me as well! 

Momma would say to me, “Don’t ever smoke!” With a cigarette hanging out of her mouth! 🤣  My Momma also said, “Do as I say, not as I do!”  But it worked! I don’t smoke cigarettes. 😉

      I use that line on my daughter to this day!   

~I also lost a lot of friends when I drifted away from the Christian religion/ “cult” I was in. 

Especially when I had the audacity to talk about that journey in my blogs or on Facebook!! 

“We don’t talk about injustice and the bad things in the church Christeen!!  That will hurt the work of “Jesus”!

Funny... I guess I thought part of the work of Jesus was truth and justice?  

What do I know? I’m not considered a Christian by most, and I’m okay with that.

If you take a look at my blog entry entitled,  “Hope from a Princess”... You can see an anonymous comment that was probably left from one of the old “friends that are no longer friends”... letting me know I’m in BONDAGE and I should move on! 🤣  

How wonderful to have people care for me so much! Just like the girl in 7th grade who was worried about me picking up smoking because she was worried about my health!??  Really, she just wanted the joy of shaming me and distinguishing herself from those nasty kids who try smoking. 

What wonderful, caring friends I had!! NOT

~Recently, I’ve lost friends over the presidency of Donald Trump. 

Some by their choosing and some by mine. 

I have a very, very low opinion of Donald Trump and I hope he ends up in jail for all the things he has gotten away with. I cannot understand how someone can look at the things he has said and done and be OKAY with them!??

That is MY opinion and I will share it without shame!

I am entitled to my opinion. Just as you are. 

You are welcome to NOT be my friend because I hold that opinion. 

I have found that the people who have decided to end their friendship with me over Trump, did so because of the fact that I won’t let them post *their* opposing opinions on *my* Facebook posts. 

I always tell people they are welcome to private message me or take me out for coffee or a beer if they’d like to discuss why I hold my opinions. Funny... most people don’t really want to do that. 

That is when I realize that they are angry with me for holding the opinions I do... not because of anything wrong I have done to them personally. 

That’s okay. I get angry with them too. 

Because they could not control me, they did not want to be my friend. That... is power being used in an evil way. A wrong way. That is exactly what I do NOT want to do to others! 

That is EXACTLY what I believe Trump has done.

I have had to unfriend people on Facebook when they refuse to respect my boundaries and sometimes I have had to realize that the real-life friendship needs to be over as well and I try to wish them the best in my heart.

 Then... I  usually question myself for weeks afterward  and wonder if I am just a horrible, evil person. 
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But the older Mama gets, the more she realizes how important it is to have boundaries in ALL your relationships. 

Because boundaries are how we show respect for one another; and respect, is the basis of good Friendships.

I have friends who have voted for Trump! That is their right!  I hope and pray that in this country it always WILL be their right to vote for their candidate. 

 I also hope and pray that their eyes may be opened to what horrible things he did and often in the name of “christianity”... and perhaps change their mind about things. 

I’ve been called a hypocrite more than once.

A lot of times, the friends I have had to distance myself from;  will tell me I am treating them exactly the way I was treated by the cult I was once a part of.  That's usually a good indication to me that the friendship is over when they hit you that low...

Maybe they are right!??

I hope that’s not what I’m doing. I was treated pretty badly and I do try NOT to treat others the way I would NOT want to be treated! Its sort of like treating others the way you would like to be treated... but... different. 😉

 I CAN BE  a hypocrite at times. I can be rude, I can lose my temper when I get angry, I can be impatient and I can be downright judgmental at times!! Sometimes... I’m a jerk! 

If you are as imperfect as me... then you are INCLUDED... 

We might even be able to be friends. 

But perhaps not. 

That’s okay too. 

~Namaste 

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Mama likes to use this little guide when she starts getting worried that her friends are not really friends and she worries she is going to get her heart broken AGAIN...

There is a guided meditation I listen to...part of the meditation has been helpful navigating friendships.

I have been betrayed a lot of times....but I don’t want to give up on having sincere friendships and the only thing that can tell you how they are going to go is... Time.

Anyway... I took the time to write it down because it’s so good! 

Thought I would share...

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"High expectations can lead to disappointment. 

Every one of us has Unique Reality.

It is a duty to grow and improve.

To let go of negative, harmful beliefs. To cultivate positive thoughts and actions. 

We are aware of enemies disguised as friends. 

Enemies, 

~are full with empty words. 

~take, more than they give.

~feel stuck in the negative.

~are filled with hatred and aggression.

~are reckless.

~they blame and shame.

Friends,

~are honest. 

~they help.

~they guide.

~are generous, compassionate and have good ambitions.

A True friend has ONLY positive intentions and will make us feel good about them and us.

We will feel comfortable with them at our Core.

We always strive to see the good in people...”