Hope From Your Mama!

  Franklin Frederick Wileman  “With eyes like the sea after the storm” ~Buttercup  How do you describe the word, Father?? I do realize that there shall be just as many answers to the question as there has been Fathers. For Me… One of the things I’ve appreciated as I’ve about grown away from “Men and Women” being in their “certain roles”… Is,  I’ve also not lost the respect and awe that there is male energy and female energy that is in ALL of us.  It’s a Beautiful Miracle!!! I saw some video recently that was all about how some Dads are afraid to say, “I Love You”.  And how great it was that some can...  Wellllllll… I’m not one to brag BUT…. “Everyone has a big butt…”  ~Philosopher, peewee Herman. Wait… Yes I am!  MAMA SAYS…. My husband has been such an AMAZING Father in the fact that not only is he not afraid to SAY I love you...  He LIVES it out in so very many ways every. single. day of his life!!  He works and provides for our family.  I don’t “have” to work, and I’m so thankful for

  My Noah started having seizures 8 days after his MMR vaccine and the (MANY) others he got at his one year appointment. He was only 1 year old and no one took into account that maybe we should go a little slower on his vaccination plan...because of his chromosome issues.  😟 I went slower with my first child’s vaccine regimen.  Actually; that is how I remember 9/11...  I was just waking up to take my Holly to get vaccinated. But I digress...  I ALWAYS got the “attitude” or the “lecture” when I would tell the nurses that was what I was doing.  🙄 But she did perfectly fine with her vaccinations!!  (She’s a normal/ healthy kid.) The doctor at my Noah’s one year appointment was a different one.   Our “regular” Doctor Goedderz (best doc EVER), was serving in the Iraq war.... This guy was new to Noah’s well check ups. He was actually the guy who performed Noah’s c-section... though I don’t believe he remembered that.    🙄 The doctor didn’t even UNDERSTAND that Noah had a chromosome anomal

My “alter”. Interestingly enough, my prayers are that it altar me! (See what I did there?) 😉 It’s Sunday today. Church day as I recall??   It’s been so long I can’t remember. I like that feeling.  It’s 75 and sunny today. I like that feeling too. It’s snowing in the state across the country that I used to live in... “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” But I digress. I thought I would share a bit of my spirit with you today.  It’s hard for me to bear my soul to people because it has been rejected so very many times...  But continue to do it I MUST. “Why does the man climb the mountain?” “Because it’s there!!!” Interestingly enough... I remember daydreaming back in 7th grade science class. I did that all the time. I just had a really hard time paying attention and grasping concepts. They have special drugs for that now I hear.  I didn’t even smoke pot back then soooo... The science teacher called on me to answer a question.  I wasn’t fully paying attention to the question.  I f

  My Brother, My Guru, My Friend James Jay Jankowski  The weekend I took he and his family to The Best Western Hotel ~Easter  Circa 1985 It’s the One Year Anniversary of my brother’s death. I think it’s only been a year.  I had a ton of deaths lately. It’s all a blur!! That explains A LOT about my day!!! 🤪🤪🤪 *OKAY... I am editing this! It was TWO years ago!!!!!*  I didn’t realize it today though. Although I knew there was something heavily weighing on me all day long. I realized it an hour and a half after the day had ended. Have you ever lost a brother before??  Well, I hadn’t.  It really, really  REALLY FUCKING SUCKS!  March 16, 2019 he passed away from cancer after one of the most badass fights against it I have ever witnessed in my life! 3:16   That is how I will always remember his death.  It’s always been my number! It is the number I would see when I was afraid I was offending God and S/He would let me know they really Love me!!! At least that’s how I took it. 😉 I always loo

 I am always the “reacher outer” in all of my relationships.  It’s just who I am I guess.  My best friend as a kid, I would ALWAYS be the planner! She would just tag along and we’d be singing our songs, talking for hours on end and playing the day away and having a blast!  I THINK I was usually the one who called first or invited first and usually came up with things to do. I loved her! I adored her! She was my best friend in the whole world!!! Next to my dog Cuddles that is!!! 😉 “Cuddles you should know better!!!”  Sorry... this is a joke only a couple people will understand! People like...“Bubbles”.  When I met my best friend’s boyfriend for the first time he was actually JEALOUS of us!!! He actually thought I was moving in on his girlfriend!! 🤣   Okay... please keep in mind this was way back in like 1986, so that wasn’t even a thing in my day!!!   I mean... I’m SURE it was... but people didn’t talk about it, because we were ALL made to think that would have been a bad thing.  Bein

~My Momma and My Babies~  So here is a little tale for your Monday… My Momma had two babies, at two different times, that died at birth.  Think this woman might have seen a thing or two!?? Yikes.  I remember that the name of the baby in this story was either John Joseph... or Kenny. I don’t remember which baby this story was about.  I always knew those were my two brothers in heaven. They were born before me.  I think my parents finally quit having kids once they perfected it with me! 🥰 But I digress. I knew that this was the story of the time that she lost so much blood, she almost died.  I remember asking her what that was like. (Being dead) I was probably about 10 years old when my mother told me this story. When she told me this story, she was still a Catholic but not really a practicing Catholic. It doesn’t really matter, except for the fact that I know we were not evangelicals at this time. We had no religion, which is where I feel I am at today.  She got snubbed in our little t

 I honestly don’t mind discussion of politics or religion.  I actually LOVE real discussion about real things with *real* people with no hidden agendas... But, there is also the fact that I have a very, very hard time trusting people in my older age. But here’s the thing... it seems it usually cannot be an HONEST and agenda free, open discussion when we are talking about these subjects.  It usually has to be an argument that divides. Oh don’t get me wrong… I am definitely not innocent of this sin. If you look at the meme that I’ve used as my picture at the top…  There is actually an entire controversy on this picture alone. It’s all really pretty stupid the things we busy ourselves with when we should be busy loving and doing onto others… again… Guilty as charged.  I just like the picture because it sort of states my feelings about the guy.  Which, as you know, are subject to change at any point in time. We get to do that as humans! I’m not sure if you knew that??? It’s really pretty c