Mama and her Brudder
 |
| My Brother, My Guru, My Friend James Jay Jankowski The weekend I took he and his family to The Best Western Hotel ~Easter Circa 1985 |
It’s the One Year Anniversary of my brother’s death.
I think it’s only been a year.
I had a ton of deaths lately. It’s all a blur!!
That explains A LOT about my day!!! 🤪🤪🤪
*OKAY... I am editing this! It was TWO years ago!!!!!*
I didn’t realize it today though. Although I knew there was something heavily weighing on me all day long.
I realized it an hour and a half after the day had ended.
Have you ever lost a brother before??
Well, I hadn’t.
It really, really
REALLY FUCKING SUCKS!
March 16, 2019 he passed away from cancer after one of the most badass fights against it I have ever witnessed in my life!
3:16
That is how I will always remember his death.
It’s always been my number!
It is the number I would see when I was afraid I was offending God and S/He would let me know they really Love me!!! At least that’s how I took it. 😉
I always look for signs.
“For God/ess so loved the world...” John 3:16
Like I would post my thoughts on Facebook about homosexuality not being a “sin”, or “Heaven and Hell being more of an idea of man rather than actual places”.
Things like that.
I knew the church ladies would gossip about me;
so I would have a COMPLETE panic attack
(before I knew what those were)...
Then, I’d get up to go look for my coffeee that I would chase around all day and...
BOOM!
3:16
and like that.
I got to have an AMAZING visit with my brother before he left this Earth!
I flew across the country to go see him and celebrate my Daddy’s birthday.
They are both gone now.
I was so lucky that I had that chance to see him before he left this Earth and he said he had prayed and prayed for us to have a wonderful visit!!! We sure did!
He played me his favorite tunes and I asked if he would sing along so I could actually hear the lyrics.
Here is a video clip of that night.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/b0akq0ctnkc9plv/Video%20Jun%2015%2C%207%2010%2049%20PM.mov?dl=0
He teased me that he couldn’t believe that I wasn’t crying when I visited him.
He liked to tease me. I think it was his favorite thing when we were growing up. 😉
Apparently his buddy, Jon, was sobbing when he said goodbye to my brother.
I should have said it was because I wasn’t a big baby like “Ferret Face”... AKA Jon...
That was the nickname my sisters and my Momma gave my ex-boyfriend, who also became my brother’s best friend.
Sisters are loyal!
My best friend told me that John had hit on her while he and I were going out.
Best friends are loyal too.
But instead, I told my brother that it was because I grew tough from taking care of a Noah boy. (My son with a significant disability.)
Then, I went home and sobbed my guts out on my sister Doreen at 3am.
Sisters are Loving.
Hmmmmm probably more like 3:16
My brother always spoke to me through music!!!
He still speaks to me through music!!
Mama didn’t say this...
Its actually from an old song I used to sing with a pretty friend of my sister’s...
(JJ probably had a crush on her).
He liked girls too much! 🙄
He had a four year scholarship like my Momma!
But he decided to be a Daddy and get married instead. Like HIS Momma. ❤️
I’m so glad he did what he Loved!
Anyway... “Nature Boy.”
“And though we spoke of many things... fools and kings... this is what he said...
The Greatest Thing
You will ever know
Is just to Love
And be Loved
In return.”
Comments
Post a Comment