Hope From Your Mama!

My “alter”. Interestingly enough, my prayers are that it altar me! (See what I did there?) 😉 It’s Sunday today. Church day as I recall??   It’s been so long I can’t remember. I like that feeling.  It’s 75 and sunny today. I like that feeling too. It’s snowing in the state across the country that I used to live in... “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” But I digress. I thought I would share a bit of my spirit with you today.  It’s hard for me to bear my soul to people because it has been rejected so very many times...  But continue to do it I MUST. “Why does the man climb the mountain?” “Because it’s there!!!” Interestingly enough... I remember daydreaming back in 7th grade science class. I did that all the time. I just had a really hard time paying attention and grasping concepts. They have special drugs for that now I hear.  I didn’t even smoke pot back then soooo... The science teacher called on me to answer a question.  I wasn’t fully paying at...

  My Brother, My Guru, My Friend James Jay Jankowski  The weekend I took he and his family to The Best Western Hotel ~Easter  Circa 1985 It’s the One Year Anniversary of my brother’s death. I think it’s only been a year.  I had a ton of deaths lately. It’s all a blur!! That explains A LOT about my day!!! 🤪🤪🤪 *OKAY... I am editing this! It was TWO years ago!!!!!*  I didn’t realize it today though. Although I knew there was something heavily weighing on me all day long. I realized it an hour and a half after the day had ended. Have you ever lost a brother before??  Well, I hadn’t.  It really, really  REALLY FUCKING SUCKS!  March 16, 2019 he passed away from cancer after one of the most badass fights against it I have ever witnessed in my life! 3:16   That is how I will always remember his death.  It’s always been my number! It is the number I would see when I was afraid I was offending God and S/He would let me know they really Lov...

 I am always the “reacher outer” in all of my relationships.  It’s just who I am I guess.  My best friend as a kid, I would ALWAYS be the planner! She would just tag along and we’d be singing our songs, talking for hours on end and playing the day away and having a blast!  I THINK I was usually the one who called first or invited first and usually came up with things to do. I loved her! I adored her! She was my best friend in the whole world!!! Next to my dog Cuddles that is!!! 😉 “Cuddles you should know better!!!”  Sorry... this is a joke only a couple people will understand! People like...“Bubbles”.  When I met my best friend’s boyfriend for the first time he was actually JEALOUS of us!!! He actually thought I was moving in on his girlfriend!! 🤣   Okay... please keep in mind this was way back in like 1986, so that wasn’t even a thing in my day!!!   I mean... I’m SURE it was... but people didn’t talk about it, because we were ALL made to think ...

~My Momma and My Babies~  So here is a little tale for your Monday… My Momma had two babies, at two different times, that died at birth.  Think this woman might have seen a thing or two!?? Yikes.  I remember that the name of the baby in this story was either John Joseph... or Kenny. I don’t remember which baby this story was about.  I always knew those were my two brothers in heaven. They were born before me.  I think my parents finally quit having kids once they perfected it with me! 🥰 But I digress. I knew that this was the story of the time that she lost so much blood, she almost died.  I remember asking her what that was like. (Being dead) I was probably about 10 years old when my mother told me this story. When she told me this story, she was still a Catholic but not really a practicing Catholic. It doesn’t really matter, except for the fact that I know we were not evangelicals at this time. We had no religion, which is where I feel I am at today....