Hope from a Princess

 

When Holly was about 8 or 9 years old, (so, about 10 years ago) our church started having something called,

 "The Princess Keepers Club."

It was based on some book and entire program about "purity" and keeping your "kiss". AKA virginity. Or as Madea would say it, "Virgintity!"  Oh man... us Evangelicals really made a big deal about THAT! Funny Jesus never mentioned it.

We worked through a work book and had weekly meetings. We had a big ceremony which included the Dads... I know I know! This is going to be making a lot of readers gag and the others think, What's wrong with that!?? 

But this is my story to tell. My experience. My mistakes. You raise your kids your way and good luck with that!! 

I really think we were just a bunch of young Moms desperately wanting our daughters not to be as... "foolish" as we were about sex!! Or some, wanting our daughters to be "pure" like we were!  I'm not telling you which one I was.  That's none of your damn business! 😉

There was even a huge "Princess Keepers" conference in the big city that all the Mothers and Daughters went to!!  I remember thinking about how each of us payed like 30-40 bucks for a ticket and there were TONS of Moms and Daughters there. Even as a good little Evangelical I remember thinking, "Somebody is getting rich here!"  

There were a couple things I remember from the conference.  It was like a Nickelodeon TV special with balloons and everything!  There were a lot of "fun skits" to put forth their message of "purity". There was a point where they told everyone to raise their hands in the air and if you could see your neighbors belly, you should poke them in the belly! You know, all harmless fun and games to make sure your shirt isn't too high up! 🙄  

They did a fashion show and at one point a girl showed the back of her butt in her jogging outfit and the "Mom" /MC sarcastically announced something about, "Notice how there is NOTHING written across her backside to attract attention!" 

Slut shame much?? 

There was this big thing at the end where we were all supposed to stand up for this pledge... and say something and I think I was the only one in the room that wasn't standing!!  

All the things they were saying and teaching, just seemed to me to be so much against, Love. So much about judging others! I couldn't take it!!  I think I started having a panic attack. (I didn't know anything about panic attacks at that time.) It just felt like I was in an alternate universe. Very weird experience. 

Holly didn't stand for the weird ass pledge either!! I didn't tell her what to do; maybe she was just copying her Momma, but I think she really saw it all on her own! Even with her little 8 year old mind I think she got it...  "This is not cool."  

We went back to our hotel room that night and Holly had a horrible panic attack about bed bugs which I made worse by trying to tell her and show her pictures of them to show her that we COULD see them if there were any in our bed! But there were not at this hotel!! But that only made it worse!!  Poor kid.  I just never knew how to calm her when she was like that. I still don’t to be honest.  A year or so later we would find out exactly why she was like that! 

Anxiety. 

Can I just insert a separate story here? This way, I don't have to write another blog... 

When Holly was going through this anxiety, a lady who was a singer at the Christian camp we used to go to, sent me a note indicating how Holly might be going through "spiritual warfare" and if I would like to contact her and talk about that, she would be willing to help me! 

Yeah... that didn't mess with my head at all while I was trying to get MEDICAL help for my daughter's anxiety disorder!!! If I'm honest, that sort of mindset (god is out to get me, or maybe the devil, and It’s probably because I suck as a Christian!) still messes with me today. 

So this, among many, many other things really just turned me off to what this religion was doing. 

(I know, I  know!!! I SAID I would quit writing so much about religion, but I've been wanting to tell this story for a long time.) 

BECAUSE 

Fast forward 10 years. My little beautiful Princess has one of the loveliest and purist hearts I have ever seen! She is honest, and kind and polite to others (even when they don't deserve it! Like me sometimes for instance! )

She is so amazing with her brother and is so empathetic that she will literally have anxiety herself for the plight and sadness of others! 

Holly brings joy to her Daddy and Momma every day. Well, at least every other day! She's still 19!!! Truly though, we could not be more proud of the person she has become! OH YEAH! She's also a lesbian! 

Might I just say that the "Princess Keepers Club" probably would not look too highly on that... purity or not! That would be a BIG no no. Although, I have heard a rumor that my old church (Woodlands church in Stevens Point, WI) now welcomes gay folk completely... as long as they are not “practicing”.

“EW DAVID!!”

I am so thankful to... sure, why not!?  The Love of Jesus!!

For placing us on the path of Love that would lead us away from that religion when our daughter was 11 years old. Perhaps she was spared some pain and torture she would have experienced had we stayed... 

Although I’m pretty sure some serious damage was done... I wish I had all that money I gave to the church! We could have used some it to pay for Holly's therapy bills!!!  🤣 

Actually, it was realizing the pain that our religion and beliefs caused a dear family member that helped Frank and I  to ... "repent".  

So I guess all things DO work together for good!  😆

Honestly. It just feels good to try to love instead of  having to be "right” or needing to decide for OTHERS what is right and wrong! 🙄

If I'm honest. I've made A LOT of mistakes as a Momma. Love covers a multitude of mistakes and has gotten me much farther than being "right". 

But here is Hope from this Mama to follow your gut! 

If it doesn't feel like, love... it's probably not.  

It's always best to try to chose the path of  Love. 

~Namaste

   Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who grew up and became even MORE beautiful in her heart! And the Kingdom was made better for it!

The End