Hope From Moving On.

I don't know why, but this picture just
seemed like the perfect one
 for my last blog here!!!

Those who know me best, know that I have been hurt very deeply by the religion I was a part of for many, many years. 

Also, the religion I was part of for many, many years, deeply hurt people. 

I think this blog is sort of a "testament" to that journey. There were a lot of years of wrestling with, "WHAT do I actually believe??" 

This blog was my way of expressing my thoughts throughout that journey. 

I didn't do too bad either!! I have received over 22,000 views since I first started this blog! 

Brag Picture!  

Okay... so maybe half of the views were me and the other half were the people from the old churches I attended, who would spy on me to see what I was writing about them!! 

One of my favorite quotes from  Anne Lamott.... (She's another Christian author the "good" Evangelical Christians aren't supposed to take seriously... If you're not familiar with my story or this blog, don't worry you won't get the joke.)  

This is the quote...

"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better!"

I used to know exactly what I believed when I was an Evangelical. I should! I studied hard enough! Just trust me when I say I was the poster child for my religion.

 I was recently sharing with a friend from my old religion a bit about what I believe now and thought it funny how she had to explain exactly what she believes to me. I thought, "Yeah Honey, I was in the midst of the creation of this religion you are in, before you were even born! I know EXACTLY what you believe!!" 

But, I'm trying to accept everyone where they are. As I would have them do unto me!  I learned that from a book.

It was a fine little religion and worked for many years in place of anti-anxiety meds that I finally went on in my 40's. 

I don't have to get up early on  Sunday with the anxiety meds... just sayin.

But things have changed.  That is basically what this entire blog has been about. Change, Growth, Searching, Stupidity, Certainty, Anger, Frustration, Questions, Answers, Faith, Feelings, Love and... HOPE. 

I have decided it is time to move on.

I continue to meditate and work on my anger against a lot of what that religion still teaches. But, you know, I can always go back to "Love the sinner, hate the sin!" 😉

Ha!!!  If Jesus couldn't persuade the religious people what stupid assholes they were being, I sure ain't gonna!  
Sorry grammar geeks!   

I took a break from Facebook for a few months during this pandemic time. I found that it was only making me angry and more confrontational. Less loving and more needing to put people into categories. The EXACT things I was finding my religion was doing to me and why I had to leave it!!  

The current political climate is worse than I ever remember it being in my lifetime and I found myself getting too caught up in it. Just as I had done with my Christianity. No one will ever say I don't take my passions seriously! Especially not my husband! GOD bless that poor man!!! 

I enjoy writing. I think it is a good outlet for me. 

Its sort of like most of the things I enjoy doing... having good discussions about deep things, gardening, being a wife, dancing, being a Momma, posting my random thoughts on Facebook, being a friend, singing, acting, swimming, hiking, playing guitar, hosting get-togethers, arts and crafts, decorating my home, smoking weed... (okay, just seeing if you are still with me there!) 😆

I do all those things better than some and much worse than others. 

But I continue to do them because they bring me joy.

 

So, for me, looking back on this blog, 

I realize that I ...*not you*... had to leave religion to discover that...

The ONLY thing that counts is Love. AND that I "know" absolutely nothing. 

Sort of the recurring theme of this entire blog! 

I am ready to grow on!! 

PS
I had planned to delete this blog and perhaps start something new creatively. 

I am leaning towards just changing the theme of my blog. Not write so much about religious thoughts only.  

Sort of maybe, combine the two I have written. 

One being, "I remember Momma" and this one being about Hope. 

Something like "Hope from your Momma." ??

A place where I just keep sharing my journey and things that I learn.
Hopefully it will encourage others to have a little hope too??  

I HAVE HOPE IN THAT.